No Man (Men) Allowed
by Auntieoaty
Summary: Cady and Vic have a girls night in - no men allowed, because they are both pissed at them. NO Femslash
1. No Man (Men) Allowed

**No Man Allowed**

Cady and Vic ran into each other at the Kum and Go convenience store. Both were searching for alcohol and both were more than a little irked at the respective men in their lives, for different reasons, but irked just the same. As they scanned the various liquors available they briefly compared notes on the reasons for them each ending up alone on a Saturday night and why each was so irritated. They decided to order a pizza, to be delivered to Cady's, and headed out with their booze and foul moods to commiserate in private.

Once at Cady's they started on their liquor; well before the pizza arrived. Vic took her phone out of her pocket to turn the ringer off but in doing so she inadvertently dialed the last number she called without realizing it. A few minutes later she grabbed the phone off the table, the sight of it increasing her irritation, and she stuffed it into her jacket pocket. Again she caused the phone to redial in her less than graceful attempt to put the phone inside the jacket pocket. Her thumb ended the call once more as she jabbed at the phone as though that would make it stay in her pocket. She was completely unaware of the fabric of her jacket pocket catching on her shirt sleeve when she pulled her hand out. Additionally, she missed the phone slipping out and falling on the rug under the coat rack. The phone landed face up and the bounce on the floor caused the phone to redial yet again.

Walt entered his cabin and saw he had four messages on his answering machine.

Message one was Vic, "Hey Walt, …, uhm, …, Shit! You know what, never mind. I'll see you at work tomorrow." She sounded less than happy and the fact she could not put her agitation into words did not bode well for the next day.

The second message began and he could make out what sounded like Vic's voice but it was distant and a bit muffled. Then he heard Cady's voice, hers was not as distant but was distinctly slurred. He could not clearly make out anything they said. The message ended and Walt wondered where they were. A mechanical voice announced the next call as number three and then a click introduced the start of the message. Vic was cursing but he heard a few other words that led him to believe she was angry about something specific. After several curse words jammed into one another the call ended. Again the mechanical voice, the click, and then call four began.

"Vic, you want zome chips or zomething with'r pizza?"

"Yah heps the disguise the taste of thistuff."

Cady's, they were at Cady's. Thank God, they weren't in a public place. There was some mumbled exchange between two women that he couldn't make out then Vic's voice boomed through the machine, "Men suck!"

Followed by Cady's fading, "Amen!"

More mumbling and the call cut off. The time stamp voice told him the last three calls had been made a little less than an hour before. Walt debated whether he should go over to Cady's or not. Both women sounded mad and drunk; either one in that condition could be a handful. The thought of dealing with both at the same time was not something he wanted to consider for long. He took a shower and contended with the mental battle that played out in his brain without reprieve. Walt knew as he stepped from the shower that he was going to deal with both mad drunk women at the same time because he was not going to rest until he was sure they were both okay. Dressing quickly, he made his way back out to the bronco and headed to his daughter's house.

"No man allowed."

"I am your boss and her father."

"You are also the most man I know and the rulesis no man allowed."

"I just want to check on Cady and you and make sure you're both alright."

"We're olright and will continue a be as fine as long as men leave usalone."

"Who made you mad Vic?"

"Hmm let me see. That. Would. Be. You. But 'curse you wouldn't knowd that 'cause you never notice when you do."

"That's not true."

"Nota good way to getting me to let you in here."

"Good point. _What_ did I do?"

"More like what did you didn't you do."

"Okay, what _didn't_ I do?"

"Same thing you never do."

"Is this supposed to make sense?"

"It would if you knewd what I was taulking about."

"Right." He stared at her.

"Wanna come in?"

"Yes."

"M'k' but ya gotta promisea do what ya never do."

"Vic I don't know if I can do that. You're drunk and I don't know what it is that you think I never do."

"I don't think. Know."

"Alright but still..."

"Promiser go home. Er set out there all night. I don' care."

"Vic just let me check on Cady. I wanna make sure she's okay."

"Cady's fine."

He heard his daughter repeat the same sentence, "Ca'y sfine," which told him immediately Cady was _not_ fine.

His concern for his daughter outweighed his misgivings about Vic's demand.

"Okay, fine, I promise. Now open the door."

"To promise what."

"I promise to do what it is you say I never do. I promise Vic. You have my word." He had to get inside and check on Cady.

"Okay."

She opened the door and stepped back to allow him access but as soon as he stepped in she pushed the door shut and bolted it.

When he turned to look at her, at the sound of the door being bolted, she stared back and said, "You promised."

"Yes, I promised. Just let me check on Cady first."

He glanced around the front room and saw Cady half on half off her sofa with her eyes closed. She had one foot almost straight up in the air, the other was up across the back of the couch and her head and one arm were lopped over the seat cushion. Walt made his way over to where she was and gently eased her into a seated position, careful not to let her roll further onto the floor.

As soon as she was in an upright position her eyes got huge and she looked as though she was half wild with panic, "I think…"

Walt jumped up quickly; pushed Cady around in front of him with his hands on both of her shoulders and marched her to the bathroom. They reached the small room just in time; Cady lunged for the toilet, flipping the seat and the ring up in one motion. Her father patiently pulled her hair out of the way and firmly embraced her midsection with one arm as she emptied everything in her stomach; before suffering a half a dozen dry heaves. When she quit convulsing he stepped over to grab the washcloth, wet it down, and then handed it to her. Cady wiped her forehead, neck, and face, and then spit one last time before rising up to look at herself in the mirror. Grabbing a cup from the counter Walt ran some water into it and handed her that too. Cady swished the water around in her mouth and spit in the sink.

She repeated the process a couple of times with the water and then once with mouthwash before she turned very sad pained eyes to her father, "Sorry dad."

"It's alright, you think your gonna be alright for a while?"

Cady started to nod and then held her head and stared at him "'S'long as I don't move."

He walked Cady into her bedroom and helped her into bed. Her eyes drifted shut as he pulled the covers up to her shoulders. He kissed her forehead, wished his punk daughter a good night, and heard her incoherent mumble as she drifted off to sleep.

Walt returned to the living room to find Vic sitting in the middle of the sofa with her arms folded across her chest and a death stare in her eyes.

He approached with extreme caution, "I put Cady to bed. She pretty well emptied her stomach, so she'll probably sleep the rest of the night away."

Vic glanced at him and away; her face etched with a decided look of distain; leaving him to wonder if the look was for him or Cady, "You okay?"

She nodded shortly and brought her eyes back to his, "Yeah." She swallowed hard and froze him with her stare, "You staying?"

He shrugged, "Thought I would for a while to be sure you are both going to be alright."

Vic nodded again, "Don't forget your promise." The words seemed to wrench themselves from her lips while her expression looked as if Vic were upset and confused at the same time.

Walt walked nearer to her, stopping a couple of feet from her; uncertain whether he should stand or sit and if he sat where he should sit.

He started for the recliner at the end of the couch but Vic jumped up and bolted to the bathroom. Walt reversed his direction and followed her. When Vic left the door open and he realized she was about to repeat Cady's earlier visit to the little room, he stepped in and provided the same support. Vic slammed the seat and lid up out of her way. Walt stepped behind her and wrapped an arm around her. She tensed and tried to pull away from him.

"Vic relax. Let me help you. I learned a long time ago this reduces the strain and the residual ache of your stomach muscles." He held her waist firmly as the first wave hit her. He didn't have to worry about her hair because she still had it pulled into a ponytail.

As the next wave hit he tightened his hold slightly, to provide more support to her abdominal muscles but was surprised that as her mid-section repeatedly contracted it was significantly easier each time and she was not dealing with dry heaves either. Walt wasn't sure what to make of that but he didn't spend time pondering it. He figured she was probably embarrassed and would want him gone as soon as possible.

"You okay now?"

She didn't answer a side from a nod.

"You sure Vic?"

Without looking at him she said, "I'm sure."

"Okay. I'm gonna step out and give you some privacy. Holler if you need me. I won't be far."

She nodded again, " 'kay, thanks."

"Yep." Walt slipped out and headed for the kitchen.


	2. Things You've Never Done

**Things You've Never Done**

Walt put a large glass of water by Cady's bed along with two aspirins. Then he returned to the kitchen and got a large glass of water and two more aspirins before he swung by the linen closet for a blanket. He met Vic back in the living room and parked her on the couch with the water, the aspirin, and the blanket. Walt then retreated to kitchen for some pizza and time to think.

He came back after a quick couple of slices to find Vic returning from bathroom again. "You ok?"

"Yep, just had to get rid of some water."

Walt handed her the bottle he was carrying, "Good, drink some more."

She reluctantly took it and uncapped the bottle, drawing a deep swallow before setting it on the coffee table.

"Feeling better?"

"Yep." She crooked one corner of her mouth at him, not quite a smile but close. Vic's slurring was noticeably gone. Walt also saw that her eyes were much clearer; very close to normal. And she was not swaying or appearing to overcompensate in any of her movements.

Walt was aware of Vic watching him watch her, "Uhm sorry, I was just, well, you seem pretty sober and just a while ago you, well, uh…"

"Seemed smashed outta my gourd?"

"Yeah somthin' like that."

"Well I have been drinking but not near as much as Cady. And I had much more to eat than she did. I not only had more to eat than her, but I only had one of her Roundhouse Rounder shots before the pizza got here and she had three at least; I think maybe four."

"She had three or four Roundhouse Rounders on an empty stomach?!"

"Yep. That's why I planned on staying." Vic shook her toiletry bag, "I went out to get that and my go bag while she was tossin'em back. I saw her drink three, but she could have had one more when I went out to the truck."

Walt nodded for her to continue but his stern look had her a bit worried that he thought she was drunk.

"The truth is Walt, Cady and I were commiserating and I kinda played up the drunkenness to make her feel comfortable and get her to open up."

"About?"

"Her man trouble."

"She's dating the manager at the Basque Table, been seeing each other for a few weeks."

"Not anymore!"

"Oh. What happened?"

"I don't know for sure but I know she is not and will not be seeing him again."

"Okay then." He drew his hands up and rested them on his hips, "The throwing up, you play that up too?"

Deep color rose on her cheeks and Vic tried not to look away, "No. That was pure nervousness."

"Nervousness?" He was utterly confused and not all that certain Vic was thinking any clearer than he was.

"Yeah, nervous. I committed myself to making sure you keep your promise before you leave here. I only let you in because I made you make that promise. And for a few moments I worked myself into a real state of nerves about it." Vic held his eyes with a steady confident gaze.

"You're not nervous anymore?"

"Nope. Ready to make good on your promise?" Vic tossed the small toiletry bag on Cady's coffee table.

"I guess."

Vic stepped up to within a couple of feet of where Walt stood so they were facing each other. He could smell the hint of minty mouthwash. "You sober enough to know what you're asking?"

"Yep."

"Okay. What do you want me to do?"

"What you _never_ do."

"I still don't understand Vic. There are a lot of things I never do"

"This is one you've never done and I'll explain but I wanted you to prepare yourself."

"Little tough to do when I don't know what it is."

Vic snorted a brief chuckle at him, "I can just imagine what's going through your mind right now. I can't possibly ask you to surf a wave or ride a pogo stick can I? We don't have any."

Walt shook his head, "No, besides I've done those before. I've also stood on my hands, done magic tricks, and…"

"Ha, I _knew_ you were going through every possible thing you could think of! I _knew it_!"

Walt gave her a 'you're enjoying this too much' look as he watched the amusement play across her eyes.

Vic couldn't help herself as she laughed at him, "I shouldn't have stopped you. I didn't know you could stand on your hands and do magic tricks. What else? I wanna know more about your hidden talents."

Walt narrowed his gaze on her a little tighter, "Are you done?"

"No, but I guess maybe you are huh? Not gonna share anymore?" She asked in a clam even tone.

"Nope."

"Okay then, I assume you're ready to fulfil your promise. You know the one that got you through the door earlier?"

He held her gaze and gave her his most patient stare along with a very tight tilt of his chin for an abbreviated nod.

Vic felt the nervousness flutter through her stomach again and drew in a breath.

Walt read the shift in her eyes and took another step closer, reaching out for her elbow, "Vic you alright?"

She steeled her features and tried to get her resolve to match. The potential consequences began to flood her mind and she was suddenly reconsidering what she had started.

"Vic?"

"Uhm, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine I was just thinking and uhm, maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

"What?"

"Making you promise. I think maybe we should just forget it."

"Why?'

"Because, I don't wanna get fired."

Walt, let go of her elbow and leaned back slightly to get a better look at her face and asked, almost incredulously, "Fired?"

Vic nodded, but said nothing.

"Okay then, how about I promise not to fire you if you just _tell_ me what it is?"

She held his gaze shook her head, "I don't think I can."

Walt altered his posture and brought his hands to his hips, "Vic, this isn't like you at all."

"No, it's not. So, like I said let's just forget it."

"Would I _have_ _to_ fire you?"

"No, not '_have to_'."

"Would you _have to_ quit?"

"No."

"Do you trust me, Vic?"

"Of course. But this has nothing to do with trusting you."

"Sure seems to me like it does." Walt angled his head slightly to make sure Vic was looking in his eyes. "I admit I'm very curious what it is that has you so worried. But I also swear to you I will not fire you, Vic. I can't think of anything, you would ask me to do, that would make me fire you."

She dropped her eyes from his and started to look away.

"Vic?"

Hesitantly, she brought her eyes back to him but kept her chin down slightly.

Walt held her eyes and spoke softly, "Trust me?" The two words held the quality of both question and statement.

Vic nodded and held his eyes; she brought her chin up, but didn't speak.

"Just trust _me_. Tell me what have I never done before?"

"Kissed me."

Walt stared at her rather dumbstruck a moment and Vic didn't know what else to say so she just stared back.

"Kiss you? You _want_ me to kiss you?"

"Every day for the past couple of years; I've thought about it at least once a day."

She started to look away from him slightly embarrassed by her confession.

He said almost on a whisper in a dazed disbelieving tone, "Me too."

Vic brought her eyes back to his instantly, "What?"

Their eyes locked and Walt slowly and clearly explain his statement, "I said 'me too'. I've thought about kissing you at least once a day, _every day,_ for the past year or so."

He leaned toward her just far enough to brush his lips to hers and gave her a tentative kiss. He gently pressed his lips to hers, but kept his lips together as he gave her a truly chaste kiss.

After several seconds Vic pulled her head back a little to stare at him, "Oh no, not a kiss you'd give your 'Auntie Pearl' or 'Granny Longmire'. _Not_ that kind of kiss." She stepped up to him to close the distance between them and rolled both hands into the fabric, near the pockets, on the front of his shirt.

As Vic pulled him to her, Walt brought his arms around her and leaned in again. He gave her a tender, gentle, kiss parting his lips just slightly and allowing his tongue to graze her upper lip. Vic pulled on his shirt as she let out a soft moan and took the initiative to deepen the kiss. Walt was right there with her as soon as he felt her reaction; their kiss deepened quickly. When they came up for air Walt moved his arms from around her and took one of her hands in his to lead her to the couch. He sat down, tugging gently, so she would sit down next to him. Walt brought a hand up around her shoulders and gently loosened her ponytail allowing her hair to fall freely around her shoulders. He pulled Vic to him and they resumed kissing, their mouths and tongues exploring and caressing the warm deep recesses of the other's mouth. Each of them allowed their hands to make mild explorations of the other's body through the fabric of their clothes. Vic was truly surprised at the total lack of any need for a single word from either of them. Theirs was not a heavy duty exchange; there was nothing frantic or demanding about their kissing. They were merely lost in a gentle give and take; a sensual tender exchange of affection and discovery.

Walt tried to bear in mind that they were on his daughter's couch and said daughter was not only at home, but only one room away. He and Vic continued to enjoy the freedom of exploring each other, their kissing was getting slightly more heated but nothing they were unable to control. Just the thought that they felt the same was reassurance enough for Walt to maintain a level head while sharing their communal affections. Vic's hands slid from his hair and drifted to his shirt front. He heard and felt the first couple of snaps pop open and reached up to still her hands as he pulled his mouth from hers.


	3. Things You Wanna Do But Can't

**Things You Wanna do but Can't**

Walt spoke in a raged breath against her cheek, "We're at Cady's, remember?"

Vic dropped her head to his chest, "Mmmm, yeah. Sorry."

He stroked her back with both hands, before threading the fingers of one hand into her hair, and kissing the top of her, "It's okay. We just have to keep this PG."

Vic snickered at him, "PG? Honestly Walt, did you just say PG?"

Walt tighten his hold on her slightly, "You knew what I meant didn't you?"

Vic nodded her head into the fabric on his shirt, "Un huh." She placed a kiss against his exposed skin.

"Besides there are things we need to discuss before we let things go any further."

Although he had made a statement and not asked a question Vic nodded so he would know she was listening and agreed with him. She lifted her head and started to push herself up from Walt's chest.

"Where you going?"

"We're at Cady's. I thought you wanted us to stop …"

He held her waist with one hand and cradled her cheek with the other as he drew her back to him, "No. Not stop," he brought his head up to reach her lips and kissed her again as she eased herself back down, "Just slow down a bit and," his mouth melded to hers again and muted his words.

Vic was drawn to him and felt has though her emotions were being totally consumed by him, whatever he wanted she would do, or in this case more than likely - not do; whatever his reasons she was more than willing to move at Walt's pace. She lost herself in his kiss once more as his hands roamed her back and one of hers found the hair at the nape of his neck while the other pressed into patch of hair on his chest she had exposed when she unsnapped his shirt. The heat from his skin caused her fingertips to tingle and she thought of sparks and electricity as their kissing intensified again. Kissing Walt was like experiencing rapid tiny electrical sparks that left her whole body humming and tingling; strangely satisfied at the same time it left her wanting more. How could anyone do that? At the moment who really cared? Her mind tossed questions and snarky retorts back and forth almost to the point of distraction until she realized it was a way to keep things from going too far. Vic pulled her mouth from his and rested her forehead on his chest while they each worked to regain normal breathing patterns.

"And?"

"Huh?"

Walt's confused tone made her smile as she lifted her head and said, "We should slow down and, what?"

"Oh, uhm …" She watched his eyes drift from hers and his jaw tense a couple of times and then when his lips pursed and twitched she began to giggle causing him to look back at her. His tone was not defensive, more plaintive, and his face showed he was still trying to think, "There _was_ something else, uh," He sighed and let his eyes fall from hers again and noticed his shirt was partly open, "Oh. We need to slow things down and refrain from undressing each other anymore. Not just because we're at Cady's but we really should talk about things first."

"You wanna talk now?"

"Nope. I think we both need to get some sleep. It's late and we both have work tomorrow."

"What time is it?"

He glanced at his watch, "Little past midnight."

Vic sighed and started to rise, "I better get going. That is if you are going to stay in case Cady needs anything."

Before he could stop her Vic was on her feet and moving away from the couch.

Walt pushed himself to his feet and reached out to pull Vic into his arms. "I thought we could both stay." A sudden jolt of nerves tripped him up, "Uhm, I mean, well, that is, if you want to?" His words were failing him but his arms were sure and confident as he drew Vic close against his chest.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and asked, "You want me to stay?"

He nodded and gave her a brief tender kiss, "Yes, with me."

Vic kissed him in return, "You know your powers of persuasion are hard to resist?"

"Good."

The self-satisfaction in his tone caused her to smile up at him, "Gawd you're so easy to please," before she pushed him back to the couch.

She had caught him off guard and Walt dropped awkwardly onto the middle cushion. Before he could react, Vic had straddled one foot to start pulling off his boot. She stopped herself from dropping the boot on the floor, suddenly remembering, Cady was asleep in the next room.

After slipped the other boot off she turned to him and said, "I need to use the bathroom and find another blanket, I'll be right back."

"Why another blanket? I thought we could share this one."

"It's not gonna bother you if Cady finds us sleeping together on her couch?"

"Nope, not as long as we have all our clothes on." He gave her an earnest look.

It almost scared her how calm he was about the potential situation. She wondered if he had really considered all that could go wrong if Cady didn't take the news well and the fact that having it right in her face was likely not the best way for her to find out, especially after her recent breakup.

Vic opted to try and set the thoughts aside and lighten her mood, "Does this mean I have to put your boots back on you?"

He looked up at her and said solemnly as though there were official rules to follow, "No. Boots don't count."

Vic laughed at him, before clamping her hand over her mouth, "Ooops sorry," she whispered. "You don't think Cady will be uncomfortable finding us together?"

"No."

"Really?"

Walt's tone was curious but not worried as he asked in return, "You think she will?"

"I don't know, maybe."

Walt pushed himself up from the couch and stepped into Vic's personal space but did not touch her. He held her eyes and answered honestly, "I figure she'll be relieved."

"Relieved?"

"Yep. It'll give her something to focus on besides her embarrassment at being wasted tonight."

Vic thought about it and it did make sense, but she wasn't so sure she could trust that explanation, "What if she's not? What if she …?"

Walt Reached out and gently pulled Vic into his embrace and spoke passed her hair and he hugged her, "My guess is she's been hoping I'd find someone. She and Henry have not been the most subtle lately in encouraging me to '_move on_'."

"Yeah but, me?" Vic sounded defeated and skeptical as she sighed softly near his ear.

"What's wrong with you?" He tried to lean back to look at her but Vic held tight to his back and pressed her face to his shoulder.

"Cady might see several things wrong with my dating her dad."

Walt moved his hands to Vic's shoulders and eased her back from his should, then leaned down and claimed her mouth in a warm sweet kiss. As he wrapped an arm around her lower back and fanned the fingers of his other hand into her hair, he deepened the kiss. He did his best to make the kiss convey his reassurances to her.

When they broke the kiss, Walt nuzzled his face into her neck and whispered, just below her ear, "Cady's a smart girl. And when she sees how happy I am with you, Vic, I honestly don't think she'll care about the other '_things_'."

**The Next Morning**

Vic heard the bathroom door click shut and a few moments later toilet was flushed and the water running in the bathroom sink. She tried to extract herself from between Walt and the back cushions of the sofa but he tightened his embrace slightly and kissed the top of her head.

"Good morning."

"Morning." Vic wiggled a bit, "Walt let me up, Cady's up. I can hear her in the bathroom.

"So?"

"So, she doesn't have to see us together on her couch," Vic tried again, but he would not let her loose, "if'll you'll just let me up."

Walt stroked her back and pressed a series of soft kisses near her temple, "Relax and let me hold you a while longer."

"But, …"

"She already saw us and I am not ready to let you go yet. Don't know how long it'll be before I'll get you in my arms again."

Vic arched her shoulders enough to make eye contact, "She already saw us?"

He smiled at her, "Yep, she went into the kitchen when she first got up. I think she started a pot of coffee."

"And what did she say?"

"Nothing. You were sleeping."

She started to move again, "So, you don't know if she's mad or…"

Walt smiled at her and massaged his fingers against her head as he lowered them to her neck and tried to pull her face to his. When she resisted he explained, "No, she's not mad. She looked at you lying in my arms and gave me a brilliant smile before she tip toed through to the kitchen."

"Really?"

Cady's voice sounded softly behind her, "Really. And I have no reason to be mad at either of you, unless one of you does anything to make my hangover worse."

Vic swung her head to Cady, when the redhead graced her with a brilliant smile; she blushed and smiled sheepishly in return. With a quick glance at Walt, who was also giving her a big smile, she gave up and buried her face in his chest. The soft hair on his chest tickled her nose as he began to chuckle at her before kissing the top of her head.

She was pretty sure she heard him murmur, "Told ya." As Cady retreated to the kitchen.


End file.
